Lessons to Learn about Relationship

  Lessons to Learn about Relationship

                                       By
                     Jackson Nanje

     Three people came to the home of the Bekongoh to speak to Mr. Bekongoh about an important business proposal. Their names were Wealth, Love and Success. When they arrived at their home at about 1:45PM, only Mrs. Bekongoh and the children were home. Mr. Bekongoh was still at work. Mrs. Bekongoh answered the door bell and told the three visitors that, “it was the standard practice of the Bekongoh’s that if Mr. Bekongoh, who is the head of the household, is not at home, no one could be allowed into their home”. She went on to inform the three visitors that, “Mr. Bekongoh will be home at 3:00PM and so, it would be nice if you three could return then.” They accepted and opted to wait at an eye-view from the house. As predicted, Mr. Bekongoh arrived at his residence at 3:00PM and his wife buttonholed him with the news of these visitors. After listening to the names of the visitors who were still waiting outside to be ushered in, Mr. Bekongoh, who thought God had finally answered his prayers to become rich and wealthy, immediately asked that Mr. Wealth be brought in ahead of the other two visitors, Success and Love.  The wife, who could see the fortunes of the Bekongoh’s household transformed, if Mr. Success was called in before the other two, made her desire known to the husband who had the sole rights to a final say. She insisted, in total defiance of the husband’s sole rights of decision-making, to bring Mr. Success in, even as she was aware of the consequences of defying her husband’s authority as the head of their household.

     Anyone who knew the Bekongoh family in Mekoma village in Ndian division could understand the raison d’être why they were constantly squabbling like a female dog in heat, to get-rich quick. They were a very deprived family in riches. And in Wealth as in Success, the fortune that had long eluded them was on their doorsteps but neither was convinced who, amongst their selected visitors, was the bearer of their desire. Aware of the indecisiveness of their decision on who to bring into the house first amongst the three visitors, their daughter, Besumbu, screamed rather angrily at her parents, “I am tired of seeing the constant in-fighting between you two”. She continued, “bring Success in instead, daddy.” Her father then said, “since we both cannot agree on the choice of either Success or Wealth, let’s heed to our daughter’s request and bring Love instead.”They finally did.

     The house maid, Mariba, was asked to call for Mr. Love. As both the maid and Mr. Love proceeded to the house, the other two (Success and Wealth) were right behind them. The maid looked behind and saw that the other two visitors were following them as well. He told them rather politely that Mr. Bekongoh only wanted Mr. Love in. Mr. Love echoed with great candor, “don’t worry, you will not be in trouble. I will explain to your master why three of us are coming when he only sent for me. As soon as they entered the house, Mr. and Mrs. Bekongoh steered angrily at the maid and, as they were about to pounce on him for not following clearly their instruction, Mr. Love stopped them and asked to explain in his characteristically polite form why the three of them came into the house as opposed to him coming alone.

     I was told by the maid that the choice to bring me, Mr. Love, in, was made by your daughter after both of you were steadfast on your choice of Mr. Success or Mr. Wealth, right? The family responded in the affirmative. She was not only correct in her decision or choice of me but she was wise in her selection as well. And this is why, he continued, if you had called on Mr. Success first, he definitely would have come alone. If you had also called on Mr. Wealth, he was going to be coming alone as well. But wherever Mr. Love goes, Success and Wealth are always going to be behind him.

                The Morale of this story

     The quest to achieve wealth or success should never take precedence over love in any relationship. Often times in a relationship, we neglect to establish love or affection for each other and the consequence of such neglect---because we were chasing wealth and success---is to throw our loved ones or significant others in the hands of our neighbors or in the hands of other women/men who have shown them love and affection.

     To reference the wise singing words of the late Cameroonian artist, Prince Nico Mbarga, in his lyrics that all the beautiful things that we have amassed, we shall one day die and leave everything behind. If we only knew that we shall not take all our riches, wealth and property to our graves, we will avoid putting so much strain in our relationships. Nonetheless, we are not advocating here that the accumulation of wealth and riches, which make others see us as successful in life is also very important; but not at the expense of pain to one another. As we do our utmost best to accumulate wealth, or to be successful in life, Mr. Love tells us that he wants to be invited in each of our homes, to be the supervisor of our activities. In this way, we will not lose the essence of being.

     The Holy book teaches us that when we treat each other with love, even when you disagree with their point of view, we stand a better chance of persuading them than if we see them otherwise.