Lessons to Learn about Relationship
Jackson Nanje
Three people came to the home of the
Bekongoh to speak to Mr. Bekongoh about an important business proposal. Their
names were Wealth, Love and Success. When
they arrived at their home at about 1:45PM, only Mrs. Bekongoh and the children
were home. Mr. Bekongoh was still at work. Mrs. Bekongoh answered the door bell
and told the three visitors that, “it was the standard practice of the
Bekongoh’s that if Mr. Bekongoh, who is the head of the household, is not at
home, no one could be allowed into their home”. She went on to inform the three
visitors that, “Mr. Bekongoh will be home at 3:00PM and so, it would be nice if
you three could return then.” They accepted and opted to wait at an eye-view
from the house. As predicted, Mr. Bekongoh arrived at his residence at 3:00PM and
his wife buttonholed him with the news of these visitors. After listening to the
names of the visitors who were still waiting outside to be ushered in, Mr.
Bekongoh, who thought God had finally answered his prayers to become rich and
wealthy, immediately asked that Mr.
Wealth be brought in ahead of the other two visitors, Success and Love. The wife,
who could see the fortunes of the Bekongoh’s household transformed, if Mr.
Success was called in before the other two, made her desire known to the
husband who had the sole rights to a final say. She insisted, in total defiance
of the husband’s sole rights of decision-making, to bring Mr. Success in, even as
she was aware of the consequences of defying her husband’s authority as the
head of their household.
Anyone who knew the Bekongoh family in
Mekoma village in Ndian division could understand the raison d’être why they were
constantly squabbling like a female dog in heat, to get-rich quick. They were a
very deprived family in riches. And in Wealth as in Success, the fortune that
had long eluded them was on their doorsteps but neither was convinced who,
amongst their selected visitors, was the bearer of their desire. Aware of the
indecisiveness of their decision on who to bring into the house first amongst
the three visitors, their daughter, Besumbu, screamed rather angrily at her
parents, “I am tired of seeing the
constant in-fighting between you two”. She continued, “bring Success in instead,
daddy.” Her father then said, “since we both cannot agree on the choice of either
Success or Wealth, let’s heed to our daughter’s request and bring Love instead.”They
finally did.
The house maid, Mariba, was asked to call
for Mr. Love. As both the maid and
Mr. Love proceeded to the house, the other two (Success and Wealth) were right behind them. The maid looked behind
and saw that the other two visitors were following them as well. He told them
rather politely that Mr. Bekongoh only wanted Mr. Love in. Mr. Love echoed with
great candor, “don’t worry, you will not be in trouble. I will explain to your
master why three of us are coming when he only sent for me. As soon as they
entered the house, Mr. and Mrs. Bekongoh steered angrily at the maid and, as
they were about to pounce on him for not following clearly their instruction,
Mr. Love stopped them and asked to explain in his characteristically polite
form why the three of them came into the house as opposed to him coming alone.
I was told by the maid that the choice to
bring me, Mr. Love, in, was made by your daughter after both of you were
steadfast on your choice of Mr. Success or Mr. Wealth, right? The family
responded in the affirmative. She was not only correct in her decision or
choice of me but she was wise in her selection as well. And this is why, he
continued, if you had called on Mr.
Success first, he definitely would have come alone. If you had also called on
Mr. Wealth, he was going to be coming alone as well. But wherever Mr. Love
goes, Success and Wealth are always going to be behind him.
The
Morale of this story
The quest to achieve wealth or
success should never take precedence over love in any relationship. Often times
in a relationship, we neglect to establish love or affection for each other and
the consequence of such neglect---because we were chasing wealth and success---is
to throw our loved ones or significant others in the hands of our neighbors or
in the hands of other women/men who have shown them love and affection.
To reference the wise singing
words of the late Cameroonian artist, Prince Nico Mbarga, in his lyrics that all
the beautiful things that we have amassed, we shall one day die and leave
everything behind. If we only knew that we shall not take all our riches,
wealth and property to our graves, we will avoid putting so much strain in our
relationships. Nonetheless, we are not advocating here that the accumulation of
wealth and riches, which make others see us as successful in life is also very
important; but not at the expense of pain to one another. As we do our utmost best
to accumulate wealth, or to be successful in life, Mr. Love tells us that he
wants to be invited in each of our homes, to be the supervisor of our
activities. In this way, we will not lose the essence of being.
The Holy book teaches us that
when we treat each other with love, even when you disagree with their point of
view, we stand a better chance of persuading them than if we see them
otherwise.
